Phone Coaching
Whatever skills Lisa is taught, either in the group or individually, she should be able to apply them outside the therapy setting. Therapists verify such application largely through real-time interactions, such as phone coaching.
Phone coaching serves as an effective tool in DBT because it captures clients in the midst of their challenges. When Lisa faces a situation in which she’s unsure how to react, she can reach out for immediate guidance on applying her skills. For example, if she feels the urge to lash out at her boyfriend, instead of succumbing to the impulse she sends a text seeking advice. This is an opportunity for the therapist to guide Lisa in using the “opposite action” technique in the very heat of the moment.
Opposite Action
Opposite action is about acting contrary to what one’s emotions dictate. For instance, when Lisa feels anger and the impulse to confront, she’s encouraged to act in the opposite manner. Depending on natural tendencies, this could mean retreating and centering oneself or, more challengingly, performing a kind gesture for the person someone’s upset with. The objective is to break the cycle of reactive behavior.
Performing opposite action is undoubtedly tough. It’s named “opposite” because it goes against one’s immediate desires and impulses. However, it can be transformative. Whether it’s a hug, a compliment, or cooking a meal for the person she’s angry at, Lisa learns to mindfully counteract her immediate and ineffective behavioral reactions.
The Power of Gratitude
Emotions like gratitude and anger are usually incompatible. Engaging in exercises that foster gratitude, such as listing the positive attributes of a person she’s upset with, can help Lisa to counteract her anger. The aim is to prevent her from being overwhelmingly consumed by a single emotion.