Interpersonal Effectiveness in DBT Trauma Work: The DEAR Adult Skill

Kirby-Reutter

United States Department of Homeland Security

Key Points

  1. The DEAR adult skill means to describe, express, assert, and reinforce. It’s the process that the client can follow to express herself assertively and make, and make a case for, a request.
  2. The adult part refers to communicating using the adult voice instead of the parent or child voice. It means to stay in the middle of the two extremes, using a reasonable and assertive adult voice.
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The final skill set is interpersonal effectiveness. This was an important area for Maria to grow in because she had a problematic interpersonal situation with her roommates.

The DEAR Adult Skill

The DEAR in DEAR adult stands for describe, express, assert, and reinforce. Adult refers to the delivery, which should be done with an adult voice. DEAR is a specific sequence to follow for your client to become more assertive. Maria was terrified of speaking to her case manager, as was agreed in her problem-solving skill. This was worked on as follows:

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