Restoring Trust and Rebuilding Your Marriage With Couples Therapy

Jill-Squyres-Groubert

Private practice, Arvada, Colorado

Key Points

  1. Restoring trust and rebuilding the relationship is crucial in couples therapy, particularly after a significant betrayal.
  2. It involves educating the partners about trust: exploring different types, and setting realistic expectations regarding trustworthiness.
  3. Steps agreed to increase Lisa’s ability to trust involved ongoing reassurance, cutting off contact with Samantha, open communication, financial restitution, access to devices, adjusting intimacy, and creating a safe shared space.
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Important Intervention

The most important intervention for this couple was restoring trust and rebuilding their marriage. Now that Lisa and Mark could communicate constructively and handle difficult topics and conflicts well, it was time to talk about what had happened and how to restore trust. Lisa was worried that trust could never be restored after a betrayal of such magnitude.

Dr. Squyres Groubert provided education about restoring trust. She recommended that they both read John Gottman’s book The Science of Trust: Emotional Attunement for Couples during the evenings when they were apart. She asked them to discuss what trust meant to them. She explained that there are many different types of trust, and that it is unreasonable to expect complete trustworthiness in all areas. This was surprising to them.

Different Types of Trust

The list of the different kinds of trust that were important to Lisa and Mark encompassed:

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